Daniella's Birth Story

She's here! She's here! After almost 10 months, seriously, of waiting, our little Daniella Rose is here.  And life has been crazy.  So I hope you all understand why this has taken me almost 4 weeks to put up here.  Because your life seriously changes when you have a baby. Good changes, but seriously changes.

So many of my girlfriends have asked to hear the labor story and I love you all but this is so much easier than a 30 minute phone call to all of you because right now it is very hard to schedule in those 30 minute phone calls.

So here it goes... and 

WARNING

I won't be going into super graphic detail but this is labor people.  SO if you don't want to hear it, or it makes you feel awkward...stop reading now haha and it's pretty long.  So sorry.

Oh and ps.... if you are about to have a baby, make sure you write down your labor story ASAP when you get home! Because you will forget things. So write it down while it's fresh in your mind

Well July 12th was her due date and it came and went without a baby showing up.  My mom and sister were in town and I was really hoping they would both be able to be there for the birth. But Arianna left the day after my due date so she missed it.  I think the week between my due date and 41 weeks was the hardest week of my pregnancy.  I was so happy to have my mom in town to keep me company but I was so anxious to have this baby.  I was tired of being pregnant, swollen and just ready.  I also really wanted my mom to be able to spend as much time with her as possible.  So I'm not going to lie, there were a lot of tears shed that week.  If you've ever had a late baby, I'm sure you can relate. 

Finally it was July 18th, so the day before I was 41 weeks.  I went into my doctor's office with my mom and Doug for a non-stress test for Daniella and to see if there was any progression.  Of course she passed the test with flying colors.  I obviously didn't want anything to be wrong with her but I knew they had no medical reason to induce me early.  And then Dr. Hagadorn checked me to see if there was any progress.  I was still at a 0 for dilation and not effaced at all.  He told me that I basically had a "frozen" cervix.  It was not doing anything.  And that is when more tears started.  Right then and there.  I was so frustrated.  So we talked about our options with the doctor.  He said I had three choices.

1. Wait it out and see if my body decides to go into labor on its own in the next couple days (uhhh yea right I was not doing that)

2. Schedule an induction at 41 weeks so the next day because my hospital won't induce you without a medical reason unless you are at 41 weeks.

or 3. Schedule a c-section (ummm no)

I could tell my doctor wanted me to wait a couple days, but after talking to Doug about it, we decided to schedule the induction for that night at midnight.  You go in at midnight so that the majority of the time while you are waiting for the drugs and your body to get going is during the night and you can try to sleep.  Well that's the plan anyways.

I asked my doctor and nurse if they really thought I would go into labor on my own in the next couple days and they both said no so induction it was!

My doctor told me later that they had a bet at the office that I was call and cancel my induction hahaha oh how little they knew me.

I was nervous and excited and so happy that the end was near.

So at midnight on Thursday, July 19th we went to Saddleback Memorial Hospital in Laguna Hills to get this party started. It took about an hour or so to do paperwork and get situated in my room.  At about 1:30 am my nurse Anna hooked up the fetal heart monitor around my stomach and the monitor that tracks my contractions.  She also put an IV in because I said I was planning on having an epidural.  And then she gave me the first cytotec pill which goes into your cervix to soften it up.  Gross I know.  The plan is for you to try to sleep at this time because your body is just getting ready but with the IV, I was up going to the bathroom literally every 30 minutes.  And getting there with all your monitors and everything can be such a hassle.  And plus you have to sleep on your side and that is so not comfortable in a hospital bed.

The second cytotec pill was given at 4 am and the plan was for me to start on pitocin around 8 am so that my body would start having contractions.  Well by 8, my body had naturally started having contractions so they held off on the pitocin.  The contractions weren't very strong at first so I was like "I got this! This is easy".  WRONG!  They started to get stronger around 11.  Doug and I walked the halls for a little bit and that sort of helped.  Dr. Hagadorn showed up around that time to check me and break my water.  I was dilated to a 3 so I was thinking things were on schedule.  He told me once you were dilated to a 3, you usually progressed about a centimeter every hour or so.  So here I was thinking that in about 7 hours, she would be here.  They gave me some medicine at that time to help with the pain but it didn't do too much to help.  But I guess it made me pretty groggy in the beginning because Lauren told me she talked to me on the phone at that time, and I literally don't remember even talking to her haha

My mom showed up at around 12:30 so that was nice to have her there and to keep Doug and I company.  I really don't remember what we did to pass the time.  Then the contractions started to get bad.  Like braxton hicks have nothing on these bad boys.  It was literally impossible to sleep.  Doug would come and hold my hand every time I had one and his poor hand was getting crushed to death.  I had always wondered if I knew what contractions would feel like if I had them at home.  Well now I definitely know. Oh man.  I thought for sure my body was almost there.  Well they came in again at 2 to check me, and I was still at a 3.  Which was so disheartening because my contractions were so rough.  So it was time to start the pitocin.  But before they could start the pitocin, they had to put a new monitor for my contractions into my cervix so they could accurately monitor them and see how strong they were getting.  I won't go into major detail here about how they get that bad boy tube up there but let me tell you, it was the WORST part of my day.  I literally thought she was killing me.  And no I'm really not being dramatic here.  It was awful.  I was literally sobbing the entire time.  Doug said it was the hardest part of the day to watch because I was in so much pain.  My nurse was Trisha at the time and she was definitely my favorite one.  She actually had to go get another nurse to help her out because she couldn't get it in on her own at first.  That's how rough it was.  I felt like such a baby afterwards because I was crying so hard and they both tried to comfort me by telling me how well I handled it.  They said they have had women who have kicked them in the chest, or were flailing their arms and legs or clawing at the wall.  Yea, that's how pleasant that experience was.  Next time I will make sure I get my epidural BEFORE they put in that monitor.

Speaking of epidural, that came next.  At this point, I was in so much pain from that monitor experience and my contractions that I was not nervous at all.  The anesthesiologist came in and my mom had to leave because only one person could be in the room with me.  Not sure why but those were the rules.  Doug sat in front of me holding my hands and the doctor put in the epidural.  I guess I was expecting the numbing shot or the epidural to hurt but it didn't at all.  It felt like a tiny bee sting when he put in the epidural and that was all.  Which is crazy, coming from a girl who HATES needles.  Hates them.  Getting the IV put in actually sucked more than the epidural.  I was so happy I didn't have any bad side effects from it because I knew how much I needed it.

My sister in law asked me what an epidural feels like because she had all her kids naturally and I told her it felt like Heavenly Father answering my prayers and telling me how much he loved me haha I'm not even kidding.  It was the sweetest relief in the entire world.  I'm all for you going natural if that is what you want to do.  More power to you.  And I totally admire you for it. I just knew it was never in my game plan and that was ok with me.  I wanted my birth experience to be as enjoyable as possible and the epidural helped do that for a couple hours.  Once I had the epidural, I still couldn't lay on my back but I could actually get some sleep.  My monitor for my contractions was at a 15 whenever my body wasn't having a contraction.  When my body was having one, it would shoot up to a number showing how strong it was.  Before my epidural, it was going into the 50's and it was incredibly painful.  But with my sweet sweet epidural, I was asleep and my contractions were going into the 80's and I slept right through it.  Hallelujah.  The only rest I had all day.

Oh and ps you can't eat anything all day while you are being induced in case you have a c-section so I was pretty much starving all day.  Take note pregnant ladies, if you are going to be induced, have a monster meal the night before because you will be SOOOO hungry when it's all over.

Back to the story.  At 6 pm, so 18 hours into this while process, Dr. Hagadorn came in to check me.  And what do you know... I was still at a 3.  I had been at a 3 since 11am.  I couldn't believe it.  I thought what the heck are these contractions doing if nothing is happening with my body.  At this point he said we had to have a chat.  Because the baby was doing fine and my body was doing great by having contractions but my cervix was not.  At some point, it was going to get dangerous for Daniella to still be in there.  So he said we needed to talk about having a c-section.  This entire time I was pregnant I had been hoping I wouldn't have to have a c-section because I really wanted to do it the regular way.  My mom had all 5 of us with c-sections so I knew it wasn't bad but I didn't want one.  At this point though, I knew it was all about the baby and it didn't matter what we had to do, as long as she was delivered safely.  So I didn't feel upset about talking about a c-section.  Dr. Hagadorn said "Watch.  As soon as we have the c-section talk, it will jinx it and your body will go into labor on it's own.  It always happens."  We laughed at that and asked him if we could have like an hour to see if anything happens and talk about it.  

He left and literally 5 minutes later I started to feel a lot of pressure.  I was confused because I thought the pressure came when your body was getting close to pushing.  And then the pain came.  I could feel all of my contractions again.  I asked my nurse why my epidural was wearing off because it had only been about 4 hours.  My nurse gave me a bolis to try to ease some of the pain but after waiting for it to work for about 30 mins, I was still in a lot of pain.  So the anestheiologist came back in and put a new line into my epidural.  Dr. Hagadorn came back in at 7 pm and checked me and I was at 7 cm!  I had gone 4 cm in an hour which is why I was in so much pain.  My epidural couldn't keep up with how fast my body was progressing so it didn't work.  So the c-section talk jinxed me and we were thrilled.  So we waited about 2 more hours for my body to get to 10 cm which it did at 9 pm.  

At that time, a delivery nurse came in to help Anna help me start pushing.  I was wondering why the doctor wasn’t in the room but I guess he doesn’t show up until it’s really time.  So I started the preliminary pushing.  It wasn’t too bad at first but then it started to get really tiring.  They had to give me an oxygen mask to use when I was resting from pushing during my contractions.  It was frustrating because it was very tiring and Doug kept saying your almost there when I still had a long time to go.  I guess it was easy to see her head at first but it took a long time before it really came out.  It wasn’t until Dr. Hagadorn came in at about 9:35ish and they set up the whole delivery area that I really felt like the end was near.  Although I had my epidural, I was definitely very aware of all the pressure I had and all of the pushing that I had to do.  That area was definitely not numb like friends of mine had said.  Even though I was definitely present during this part it is hard to remember details of the whole thing because of all that I was experiencing at one time.  I remember my mom and Doug encouraging me the whole time and both of my nurses helping as well.  I can't really tell you what they said because I don't remember haha I do remember at one time telling Doug I couldn't do it anymore because I was so exhausted.  Which I don't know why I said that, because you can't quit at that time haha 

Finally, after 45 minutes of pushing, my sweet sweet girl was born at 9:47 pm.  They put her right onto my chest for about a minute so I could look at her with Doug and take it all in.  I couldn't believe that she was finally here!  And how big she was.  I was in shock that that big baby had just been hanging out inside of me and now she was finally in my arms.  Best feeling in the entire world.  Then they took her away with Doug over to the other side of the room to weigh and measure her and clean her up. 

9 pounds 12 ounces and 22 inches long of perfect perfect baby. 

After that, it was all kind of a whirl.  Her glucose levels were a bit low which is normal for big babies so they had to give her a bottle to raise them back up but she was fine in just a couple hours.  She nursed and they gave her a sponge bath and she spent some time with her Nana.  At about midnight it was just the three of us.  Our new little family.  And it was total bliss.  I have never been happier.  Doug and I couldn't stop looking at her.  I was just in total awe of this little girl that I had been dreaming about for the last year. 

So was it hard? Yes.  Was it tiring? Yes. Was it one of the best days of my life? Absolutely.  I'm so grateful for a healthy, happy baby girl and the experience I got to have becoming a mother that day.  

I'll write more soon about the first month of her life.

I can't believe I put this up here.  This is how rough things got.

 Spending some time with Nana.

 My awesome doctor

 Obsessed.

 The sweetest. Love these two.

People are funny

I think it's really funny what people will say to you when you're pregnant haha none of it really offends me or anything.  It's just that alot of people seem to think they can say whatever they want. Today I had two funny run-ins.

1. The asian lady at UPS asked me to spin around so she could look at me.  And then told me she knew I was having a girl because I didn't have a big butt.  Can't even imagine what she would have said if I was having a boy haha

2. The lady at Ralph's told me that my baby was lucky because she was going to have pretty eyes and great nose.  She told me my nose was perfect.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had a deviated septum when I was a teenager and had nose surgery when I was 16 hahahaha so baby probably won't get my "fake" nose

Oh girly girl.  Show up soon so we can see you!

Ellen and my shower

So a lot of my friends have asked me about going on the Ellen's Mother's Day Show so I figured I would write a quick blog about it (a month later....sorry) so that I didn't have to keep explaining it haha

Let me just tell you first, it was a HUGE surprise and HUGE blessing.  I mean seriously, we got so much more than we could have dreamed of and it saved us a lot of dough.

I had heard of Ellen doing this show every year but I was never pregnant haha and I didn't live in California.  Well this year, I was both, hallelujah.  A family friend Stephani Strike, sent me the link to apply for the show in March, which I'm so glad she did because I totally would have forgotten about it.  The application to try to be in the audience was pretty basic.  They wanted to know about your pregnancy, some info about you, a picture of you and your "story". 

 Let me just tell you, I did not think I was going to get chosen for the audience.  I didn't have some heartfelt story or anything.  It's not like we had been trying for 5 years to get pregnant or one of us was in the military.  I basically said that we found out we were pregnant when we were just about to graduate so I didn't have time to look for a job in the broadcast world before the baby was going to be here.  And that I was just living in Irvine, nannying a couple times a week and excited for my little girl to get here.  And apparently they liked it!  I got a phone call about a week and a half after I submitted the application, asking me if I would like to be in the audience.  After I hung up, I looked at Doug and started freaking out! I was jumping up and down and dancing around our living room.  Just so excited to be apart of this fun show.

FINALLY after a month and a half of waiting, it was the day of the show.  They sent me a packet of information a couple weeks before with my ticket in it and it said "bring the biggest car you have" so the entire parking garage was full of SUV's and vans haha

We had to show up a couple hours early to get through security and all that jazz. 

This was the lovely line of women that got there before me.

And btw there were a ton of Mormon chicks there haha it's kind of funny how you can just tell who they are.

They gave us each a number to line up.

Finally like an hour before the show, they brought us into the studio and got us in our seats.  Even though I was sort of towards the back to the left, it was the best place to be because I was right by the exit for when it was time to leave and right next to where the bathroom line began haha

Normally you can't get up and go to the bathroom during her show, but when you have like 300 pregnant women in your audience, that really can't be a rule.  So instead they set up snacks and drinks and fun gifts in the bathroom for all of us and told us to go whenever we wanted.  And let me tell you, as soon as every commercial break began, there was a mad dash of women to the bathrooms haha it was so funny!

They let us take some pictures of the studio before the show taped which was fun because they normally don't do that either. 

Those babies on the screen were babies who were inside their mom's last year at the show.  So cute!

Finally the show started and the energy was so insane.  It felt like Christmas but for pregnant women haha I saw lots of tears and there was lots of screaming.  It would seriously take way too long to list of what I got so here is the abridged version of her show on youtube.  It's a little long but it took her awhile to name off all the stuff she got us!

A lot of the stuff we got was given to us at the end of the show in some pick up spots like our stroller and pack n play and then we were given vouchers for the really big stuff so we could go online and order what we wanted.  So we had to order the crib in the color we wanted and the carseat and all of that fun stuff.  And it's slowly coming in.  We have everything except the crib! It's still on its way. The diapers came about a week ago so we have 6 big cases of diapers just chilling in our living room haha

Anyways it was pretty much one of the most fun days ever.  I seriously hope that all my friends that are pregnant at this time next year apply to be in the audience.  We can't wait for her to get here to try out all her fun stuff!

As if I needed anything else, my sister in laws Wendy, Heather and Michelle just threw a baby shower for me here in Irvine with some close friends.  We had it at the Cheesecake Factory at the Spectrum and even though we were missing some of my girlfriends, it was a really good time.  I seriously got spoiled again by my wonderful friends and family.

Doug's mom surprised all of us and came to the shower from Utah.  She couldn't stay the whole time because she had to get back to Los Angeles but it was so sweet of her to make the trip out!

When we were there, Michelle brought this little game for us to play.  I had to fill out my answers, and so did everyone else.  And then I went through and told everyone my answers to see who got the most right.  It was so fun to think about and hear everyones answers. 

 I quizzed Doug when I got home to see what he thought I said and he only missed one!  He thinks her personality should be more like his, but let's be real here haha

Here's a picture of all of us after lunch.... I have decided no more full frontal pictures anymore.  At least not when I'm wearing vertical stripes.  Just makes me look ginormous.  But everyone else looks cute!

Thanks ladies!!

9 months!

Ellen and baby shower post is coming tomorrow!  I promise. If I put it in writing here then I have to do it right??

Well today is the day.  No not my due date.  But the day that I can officially say that I am 9 months pregnant. Whatttttt???  I want to say "when did this happen" but it's been a very long journey to 9 months so this is one happy day for me.  In a week, I will be officially full term and it will be totally safe for my baby girl to get here.  Here's the deal Daniella... your crib isn't supposed to get here until next Friday so how about you wait 2 more weeks and then make your arrival? K great.

Today also marks the beginning of my weekly doctors appointments.  I have officially told all of the nurses to make sure I don't see my weight because it just depresses me.  My cute nurse just told me I've only gained two pounds in two weeks so I guess I am ok with that.  I'll just deal with at all later haha

My doctor also checked me for Strep B.  Let me just tell you, I am glad he told me two weeks ago that he would be doing this test at my next visit because it gave me time to read up on the Strep B virus.  Which is very different from strep throat...and so is the way they check for it hahaha so I am glad I went into this visit knowing what was up.

It's interesting cause last visit I was measuring right on schedule. 34 cm for 34 weeks.  But today I measured small at only 32 cm.  I got kind of worried because I didn't know if it meant I was low on fluid or anything.  But my doctor just explained that she has dropped very far down into position.  And because I'm tall and have a very long torso, most of her body has dropped, making me look smaller up top.  Which I am not complaining about at all because it has made breathing so much easier, and it means she is getting ready to make her entrance.

So here's to a couple more weeks of not sleeping at nights, long bubble baths, uncomfortable braxton hicks, labor anxiety, shopping for baby, daydreaming about her face, randoms touching my stomach,  laying out at the pool, a quiet house, stretchy pants, random cravings, and getting larger by the day.

But it's so worth it.

our little fear

So Doug's routine in the morning before work is to wake up around 5 am and go to the gym and then come home and get ready for the day.  Usually I would sleep right through it, but with sleeping not being so deep and peaceful as it used to be, I wake up alot from his moving around the apartment.  Well this morning I woke up at 5 and saw Doug in our bedroom doorway staring at our living room.  He had a paper towel and kept bending over to breathe and was freaking out.  I asked him what was wrong.  

He then informed me that there was a huge spider just sitting on our living room couch.  Doug and I both have SEVERE arachnaphobia.  Like it's really bad.  I've always made my dad come and kill any spider in my room, no matter what time of the night.  And I guess Doug has had a couple jump on his head when he was little hahaha so we both hate them.  But he's the man in the relationship so it's his job to kill them in our home.  But this morning, he was absolutely terrified.  And seriously stressing out for awhile about how he was going to kill this spider.  His biggest fear wasn't even the spider... it was trying to get the spider and it running away and not knowing where it went haha I tried not to laugh because I know he was really scared but it was pretty funny.  And then he said "I wish my mom was here" and that really made me laugh.  Here's my tall, athletic, strong, 26 year old husband wishing his much much smaller mother was here to kill the spider. haha I realized that our kids will probably never be able to say that about us because we probably will make them kill it themselves haha or buy one of those bug zappers they sell in the SkyMall magazine.

 In the end, it got sucked up by the vacumn because that seemed like the safest possible bet for Doug.  Later on when he was at work I texted him and told him that I was nervous to sit on the couch now haha and he said "I was looking at the couch like it had betrayed me this morning. I don't envy you"

hahahaha love him.

Little ramblings and thoughts

I'm ready for our baby girl to get here.  I'm ready to take too many pictures of her and put them up here.

I'm ready to kiss those little toes that kick me everyday.  I'm ready to dress her up and just stare at her and wonder how I got so lucky.  I'm ready to have someone to keep me company everyday while Doug is at work and run errands with me. 

And..  I'm ready for my stomach to get back to normal and not get bigger and bigger everyday.

There are so many fun things that I am learning during this pregnancy that get me more and more excited about this little one getting here.  There also are some tough things that I didn't expect.

Like...

I didn't know that I would not get a good nights sleep after my first trimester ended.  I seriously think this is Heavenly Father's way of getting me ready to be up at night with her but all I want to do NOW is sleep while I can.  Doug laughs when I say I don't even enjoy sleep anymore (because I really love sleeping) but it's true.  She's either kicking me awake at 3 am or I'm dying from heat (even though our apartment is set to like 66 degrees).  I don't know how I'm going to make it till July sometimes.

I didn't know how emotional I would get from seeing babies being born on tv, movies..etc or reading friends labor stories.  That's saying alot because I am someone who likes a good cry every now and then but I swear, I lose it everytime I see a new little one being born.  It is the most beautiful thing in the world and I'm so ready to experience it.

I had no idea how much personality my little girl would have before she even got here!  Everytime she goes crazy or gets the hiccups, I just imagine her and what little thoughts must be going through her mind.  If she's anything like her daddy, those daily hiccups are driving her crazy!

She also makes me want to eat.  I look back at my first trimester and how awful it was and how I didn't want to eat anything and I kind of wish sometimes it was still that way haha not really but kind of.  First trimester, I wanted nothing to do with dessert or anything sweet... yea third trimester is a different story.  Oh well right? Everyone says enjoy it now.  I just need to remind myself when I want sweets is that my body won't enjoy it as much in a couple months when I'm running on the treadmill.

I also realized how much STUFF babies need.  They are so tiny and little and yet they need an endless amount of things.  Carseat, stroller, diaper bag, diapers, bouncers, bottles...the list is seriously endless.  Our living room is being taken over by her stuff.  Which is secretly ok with me because sometimes I like to just look at it and imagine her using it in a couple of months.

Finding a good doctor is so important.  I am so lucky that I love my doctor here in Irvine.  Yes, he is a little different from other doctors.... he's pretty blunt haha but most importantly he is the best at being encouraging through this new and sometimes scary time.  Telling me my pregnancy is going perfect and reassuring me that I haven't gained too much weight is such a nice thing.  Happy to know that my baby will be delivered in such good hands.

Watching Doug get ready to be a new dad is the sweetest thing in the world.  Everytime she moves around, he is putting his hands on my stomach and talking to her.  Sometimes she's stubborn and stops moving but mostly she knows when he's there.  We spent about 30 minutes in church the other day just in awe of what she was doing in there! Girlfriend was going nuts... and Doug's face was priceless.  I know he's going to be such a good daddy!

Painting your toenails when you are 31 weeks along is hard.  That's all I have to say.

I also don't like to see other children named Daniella.  Is that weird?  There is a little girl that I think lives in our complex with that name and I heard her mom call her name at the pool and I looked at her.  And then I wished I didn't because she doesn't look anything like what our little girl will probably look like and it kinda weirded me out. haha I don't know why because it doesn't make any sense at all but it just did.

It's a weird transition when people stop asking "oh when are you due?" to "how much longer do you have?"  makes me feel like these next 2 months are going to drag on.  And that I'm huge.

Wasn't sure what women meant when they said they could feel their babies in their ribs until this past week.  Ouch! I'm hoping she doesn't get used to this position because it hurts!

That's about it for now... 

I'll blog soon about the Ellen's Mothers Day show because I've had a lot of people ask me about it! Let's just say, it was a HUGE blessing and I am so lucky that I was able to be apart of it.

One scared mommy

Like I have said before, this little gal is a mover.

Like NO JOKE she moves ALL THE TIME.

That's why our ultrasound lady said she was more like a boy than a girl haha she is all over the place.

Girls are supposed to be a little more mellow and ours is definitely not.

And I'm totally fine with it because I love feeling like she is reminding me, "Hey I'm here, and this is my personality.. get ready mommy"

So imagine what was going through my head when this little one decided she was going to barely move at all, all day Monday and half of Tuesday.

Yea... let's just say I panicked.

Um actually I didn't just panic, I turned into one hot psychotic mess.

I had felt her move a little bit during the day on Monday and a little bit Tuesday morning. But I am used to feeling her intensely move almost every hour of everyday. 

I know as the baby gets bigger, it's not going to have as much room to move around and the kicks will become less frequent. 

But I really didn't think this could happen over night, because Sunday she was her usual crazy self. 

So I freaked.  

My rational brain wasn't telling me that she was fine because I could still feel her kinda.

My irrational brain just started thinking of all the things that could have happened. You don't even want to know what I was thinking.

So I called my doctor and tried to keep it together on the phone as I explained to the nurse what was going on but I totally lost it. Like I don't even know how she could understand what I was saying.

Luckily I have the world's best doctor's office because she immediately told me to come right in and get checked just in case. I'm sure she knew everything was fine but she was helping me calm down and that is what I needed.

As I was getting ready, I called Doug freaking out.  Poor guy is out of town in Dallas for work and had to listen to his crazy wife freak out.  He was so great and told me to be safe and go to the doctor and let him know what they said. 

Then my mom called and I lost it again.  She told me she was sure everything was fine but she knew how I was feeling because she felt that way sometimes when she was pregnant with us kids too.

Got to the doctors office and got hooked up to a fetal heart monitor.

And of course, she starts moving around for the nurse and I can hear her heartbeat as strong as it's ever been.

She was fine. Like everyone said she would be. I started blubbering to the nurse about how sorry I was and how I just freaked out for no reason.  And she told me that she was so glad that I came in so I could know that she was alright. "Better safe than sorry" she kept saying to me.  They kept me hooked up for like 10 minutes just to track her progress and double check on everything. 

And yes she is perfectly fine.  I guess she was just really tired all day Monday and Tuesday or something. But it threw me for a very weird loop.  

Then last night she began being her normal self again and going crazy.  And it was the best feeling in the entire world.

I thought the most scared I would be during my pregnancy was the first trimester when the miscarriage rate is so high.  I thought I would be in the clear after that.  

NOPE.

I don't think the anxious feeling of worrying about your baby really goes away ever.  I am already so incredibly in love with her and any thought of anything going wrong just absolutely terrifies me. I guess this is just how I'm getting prepared to be a real mommy.  

Tommorow is the beginning of my 3rd and final trimester and it feels like it has taken forever! But it means I'm less than 3 months away from her getting here.  And we still have alot to do so please stay chill for at least another 10 weeks baby girl!